hello! im actually nearing a whole week of changing my eating habits. id say "on my new diet", but i want this to be a permanent lifestyle change so it feels a bit wrong to call it that. ive done pretty well this week though, ive exercised most days and ate a whole lot better. just a little backstory for anyone who may happen to come across my website: i have always been very much on the heavy side my entire life, and i have binge eating disorder. around the time i began attending college (early 2018) i decided i was sick of hating myself and being out of shape/sick. i managed to get down to a healthy weight by losing 70 pounds (210 pounds to 140) and i maintained this until about early 2021 when i entered an unhealthy relationship. while living with my ex i gained 110 pounds. so not only am i back where i started, im actually 40 pounds heavier than my previous highest weight. i recently cut off this relationship, and ive felt a lot more motivation to actually fix myself that i havent felt the entire time living with my ex. in the past month ive moved back home and re-registered for college, and im really hoping to turn over a new leaf and make permanent changes. it wont be easy, and it will probably take a few years, but im willing to put in the work. i miss feeling healthy and being able to fit into smaller clothes. i also hate how little confidence i have, ive noticed a major flip in my personality. when i was thinner i could look people in the eye, id wear the clothes i like to wear, and i loved going out and talking to people. i notice being this large has made me a huge recluse, and im just depressed all the time. anyway, my first weigh-in is tomorrow - i will be sure to update my weight page accordingly! thanks for stopping by, if anyone did haha.